Fairy Tale One Half
by Lady Belegwen Lightningblade
Summary: Sometimes everything goes wrong. But sometimes everything comes together just like in a fairy tale. Of course, it always has a little help! Ranma&Akane, Ryouga&Ukyo, and all the usual.
1. Introduction

Introduction

* * *

Once upon a time in a cold, distant land, there lived a maiden. Her hair was like flames, and her eyes like the sea. She was of no great stature, but buxom and sweet-faced. She was, in fact, much more clever than she was beautiful, and she was not a princess, but a poor college student. The cold, distant land was Connecticut which on an October morning with the window open is, indeed, very cold, even if, like this sensible young maiden, you are practically garbed a dark grey sweatsuit, wool socks, and black ankle boots.

Nevermind what the maiden looked like. It was what she was doing that was important. She had a blender--which technically was against the fire safety codes for her dorm room--into which she added several Ranma 1/2 manga, the Andrew Lang Colored Fairy books, and several limes. "Hmm," she said with a smile. "This should work."

A male voice interrupted her, as a plot device dropped her boyfriend into the room. "Are you trying to cook again? Are you really sure you should do that? Remember the rice?"

Having spent far too much time reading the aforementioned Ranma manga before adding them to the blender, she sensibly turned around to hit said boyfriend with a mallet. "Don't insult my cooking, you jerk!" There was a slight pause. "Oops. Sorry. Instinct."

"It's a good thing that's a boffer mallet," was his response. "Are you making a dessert? Your desserts always turn out amazing."

"Actually, I'm not sure what it is," she replied. "It's more of a sauce than anything else. Though I think it will be sweet."

"Yeah, you've already made a salt."

She groaned at the dreadful pun. "Alright, enough nonsense from you. Try it." She pushed a spoon of the odd mixture at him.

"Um, okay." He swallowed the pale brown concoction. "Not bad. I think a lemon flavor would be nicer though."

"Can't. . . . "

"Oh, yeah, right." The boyfriend grimaced. "Well, in that case, I think there's one more thing it needs . . . "

"What?"

He whispered in her ear, and her eyes widened. "Oh!"

And she quickly added the final ingredient. ". . . And they lived happily ever after."

* * *

"Boffer" refers to a weapon made primarily of foam and duct tape, but with a solid core. They can be used to block, but can also be swung full force without doing any damage. They are often used in LARPs or by other lunatics with sword fetishes--like me and my boyfriend. 


	2. Prologue: Once Upon a Time

Prologue: Once Upon a Time

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a prince with a terrible curse, but though he traveled the length and bredth of the lands, he found no cure.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a princess cursed to an enchanted sleep, a curse which had only one cure.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a beautiful and talented young girl who was forced to work in her grandmother's kitchen.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a princess with snow white skin and ebony hair whose cruel parent sent her away in dishonor.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a beautiful young girl with rose red hair who helped a bear.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a beautiful young girl who carried a basket of goodies.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a horrible beast, a charming prince, a dashing prince, a darling prince, a sweet and beautiful young girl, a fairy-godmother, and a queen of ice.

And once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a ball . . . .

* * *

To whom it may concern:

You are invited to a masked ball on Friday night (the twelth of May), beginning at eight, ending at two, at the Tendo Dojo to choose Ranma Saotome's bride. The event is black tie. R.S.V.P. Refreshments will be served. Please buy your 3000 yen ticket from Nabiki Tendo no later than the tenth. We hope to see you there!

* * *

"Please, Nabiki, I want a ticket. Ranma is destined to be mine!" 

"Certainly, Ukyo! We'd be glad to have you. Could you bring some refreshments? We all love your cooking."

"Nabiki Tendo! I am told the Fair Akane shall be at your family's masked ball! I must attend!"

"Any time, Kuno-baby. The ticket is 30000 yen for you."

"Mercenary girl, Shampoo want ticket!"

"Here it is, Shampoo. Please bring some ramen. Ranma always says your ramen tastes the best of all."

"Nabiki! How can you be throwing a party at the Tendo Dojo without asking the permission of the Master of the School!"

"You know, Grandfather, there will be lots of girls coming in hopes of marrying Ranma. Here is your ticket. Please show up on time."

"You're such a good girl, Nabiki!"

"I know."

"Miss Tendo! I hear that Shampoo is going to your family's party next Friday night. I am afraid I must insist on a ticket."

"Certainly, Mousse. 3000 yen."

"Nabiki Tendo, Shampoo tells me she is going to your family's party and bringing free ramen."

"Oh, no, Ms. Cologne! It is not free. It's in exchange for your ticket and hers! A special one-time-only 60000 yen value!"

"Oh, well, in that case . . ."

"Nabiki Tendo, give me a ticket this instant! I, the Black Rose of St. Hebereke, must be in attendance to win my darling Ranma's heart."

"Of course, Kodachi, 30000 yen."

"Um, Nabiki?"

"Yes, Ryouga?"

"Can I go to the party on Friday night? Here's 3000 yen."

"Actually, Ryouga it's tonight. Here is your ticket. Please be there on time."

"Nice job, Nabiki, now he'll definitely be there next Friday."

"Hello, Ranma, here to buy your ticket?"

"Ticket! I don't need a ticket! I'm the main attraction!"

"No, you aren't. You have to buy a ticket."

"Does Akane have to buy a ticket?"

"No, but she's family. If you want a free ticket you can marry her between now and next Friday."

"Huh. You couldn't pay me to marry a violent tomboy like her."

"Ranma, I think she heard you say that."

"Ouch."

"Nabiki, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course, Kasumi. I promise you this: everything will be perfect after the ball."

"Oh, alright then."

* * *


	3. Chapter One: The Ice Queen

Chapter One: The Ice Queen

* * *

I am Nabiki Tendo, age seventeen, the rising star of the high school business world. My peers call me the Ice Queen of Furinken High!

I also do a mean Tatewaki Kuno impression, if I do say so myself.

My story begins on a Friday afternoon. Friday the twenty-eighth of April. It had struck me that I was tired of chaos in my home. I was tired to the never-ending fights, shouting matches, and insanity brought to my home by our perpetual house-guest Ranma Saotome. It also struck me that I wanted to end all of this.

Now, some people might take this as the beginning of my plot to assassinate Ranma and return everything to peace and quiet. This, however, is not my style. I don't kill people. I don't even arrange for people to be killed. I am subtle, mercenary on occasion, and much too smart to get blood on my hands, thank you very much.

Besides, getting Ranma killed would be too easy, and it might very well solve none of the problems. No, the more challenging task would be to tie up every single loose end in his life in one single evening, and preferably a few that were not attached to him, just to kill as many birds as possible with a single stone. I'm good enough that I can do this.

The main problem with Ranma is his many fianceés. There are four of them: my sister Akane Tendo, the okonomiyaki chef Ukyo Kuonji, the Chinese Amazon Shampoo (I don't know if she has a last name), and the wealthy but insane Kodachi Kuno. Family loyalty as well as a keen skill at match-making forces me to place Akane and Ranma together as a loud, but one day happy, couple. The others would require more work.

Then there are Ranma's male problems, most of whom want simply to kill him, but one of them also wants to marry his female half. Go figure. These would be: long-time rival Ryoga Hibiki, the Chinese Amazon Mousse (I don't know if he has a last name either), and my dear quixotic friend Tatewaki Kuno. I mean it when I say friend; I find him very entertaining.

And then there's the other problems: Ranma's father Genma Saotome (sometime panda bear), my father Soun Tendo (AKA the waterspout), Ranma's mother (and her katana . . . four foot eight inches), the aged master of the Anything Goes Style (Ugh, just ugh), Shampoo's grandmother Cologne, and Ranma's own female side.

While I'm at it, I think I'll do my other sister Kasumi a favor and set her up with our family doctor, but that's really not very difficult. And I want to have a fun evening myself, of course.

In other words, aside from a bit of juggling, it was nothing I couldn't handle.

* * *

"Daddy," I said sweetly. "I want to throw a party. In two weeks."

"That sounds fine, Nabiki." My father didn't even look away from his perpetual shogi tournament with a panda bear. "Who were you thinking of inviting?"

"Oh, everyone, I think."

"That sounds nice."

Now came the easy part. "I know the two of you don't want to be here all evening when the house is full of teen-agers. Why don't you go out, have some sake, and enjoy yourselves? While, you're out I'll even see if I can get Ranma and Akane to dance together."

"That's a fine idea, Nabiki," my father said.

The panda held up a sign reading, "Such a dutiful daughter you have, Tendo."

My next task awaited.

* * *

My next task was a harder one. I had to clear the event with the real power in the Tendo household.

"I don't know, Nabiki . . ."

"Please?"

"All those people . . ."

"Please?"

"All that food . . ."

"Please?"

"All that mess to clean up . . ."

"Please, Kasumi, I'll help!"

My sister smiled at me. "You really want to have this party, don't you, Nabiki?"

I nodded eagerly. I was being completely honest. After all, my future peace depended on it. "I'll invite Dr. Tofu."

"I'll think about it." Which of course meant yes.

* * *

From here, I set to work with the simple mechanics of the party: invitations, making sure my family had proper clothing, decorating the Dojo, all the usual things. Beyond these things, my task was a little more daunting. I needed to contact the right people, give everyone the proper directions, and most importantly not let any of them know I was helping anyone else.

First on my list was Mousse. I met him outside of the Dojo, staring longingly at Shampoo, who was draped across Ranma. I gave him a sympathetic smile. "She really thinks she's in love with him, doesn't she?"

He sniffed. "Do not rub it in, Miss Tendo."

"That wasn't my intention." I took his hand and turned him away from the scene that was making him so miserable. "You know about the masked ball we're throwing on Friday, right?"

"Of course, I know," he responded. "I bought my ticket, didn't I?"

"You know aside from the glasses and the hair style, you look a lot like Ranma." I held up my cosmetics mirror. "Right height, right build. Black hair, blue eyes . . . of course, no one can see glasses and eye color under a mask, can they?"

"What is your point?" Mousse was beginning to realize I was up to something.

"I want my sister and Ranma together . . . and so, obviously do you." I smirked. "Now, all the girls who love Ranma are going to be at this party looking for Ranma to prove their love. This includes your Shampoo."

I could see it as the thought fully occured to him. "So if I am there in the guise of Ranma, Shampoo will latch onto me!"

"Indeed. And if you prove to her that the spirit behind the mask that she loves is yours . . ."

"Then I will win Shampoo's heart!"

"Correct," I finished. "There is one other thing-"

"-the old crone," he guessed. "Of course, Nabiki, I will keep you up to date on her activities."

It was all that I could have asked for.

* * *

The next issue was contact number two. While I had no doubts as to my abilities to pull huge amounts of wool over his eyes, finding him was another matter entirely. Even this was easier than I had expected: all I had to do was visit the UN's THR website (THR stands for Track Ryoga Hibiki). I was a bit surprised to find such a website, but after a bit of thought it made since. After all, he wanders all over the world, occaisionally getting depressed and putting huge craters in the ground. If I were the UN, I'd be tracking him too. They keep a map with his trail marked on it. If I had time for recreation, I'd get a lot of amusement out of watching it, because the trail doubles back on itself and creates odd-shaped patterns, sort of like staring at a screen saver. They also have a page where people can report sightings, some of which are very amusing.

I kept an eye on the website for three days, before he came close enough to make finding him practical. It still required a half an hour's train trip, but I figured it was worth it.

"Hey, Ryoga!" I called out, on spotting him.

"Hmm?" He looked around to see who has calling him. "Nabiki? I'm in Nerima? I thought this was Nagasaki . . . I'm sorry for missing your party last week."

"Oh, that's fine," I said. "Things got complicated and we had to put it off a few days. It's tomorrow night instead." The party was still five days away. "It's that I wanted to talk to you about actually."

"What?" he asked pleasantly.

"Well," I said looking about as if I weren't sure that I wasn't being followed. "The truth is, Ryoga, that I'm sick and tired of Ranma and his constant fights with my sister! I want the chaos out of my house as soon as possible." The best lies are always based on truth.

His eyes widened. "I understand completely, Nabiki. I will kill him!"

"-but," I continued, "Akane is ridiculously fond of him." Also true, though Akane did not seem to notice it yet.

"I know." He looked gloomy.

"You know, Ryoga," I said thoughtfully. "You're about the same height as Ranma. And build. Your hair is even the same shade of black."

"I do not look like that-!"

I interrupted him quickly, "You know, I bet you could impersonate him perfectly. All it would take is a mask and a clip-on braid. Then my sister would like you, instead of him. Once she realized that you were the one she really loved, Ranma would have no reason to live at our house." My one and only lie, with so much truth building up to it. Because the one who has going to fall in love with Ryoga wasn't my sister.

I could see the thoughts going through his head, images of a life without Ranma where Akane loved him Ryoga. I allowed his fantasies to continue for several moments, before resuming my speech. "Here. I brought you a costume. Akane is going to be dressed as a fairy. I thought you might like a costume to match hers." I pushed a bundle into his arms, then checked my watch. "I've got a meeting in forty-five minutes, so I'd better be going. Bye, Ryoga!"

"Thank you so much, Nabiki."

No trouble, I thought, none at all.

* * *

"So Ranma," I asked my third victim . . . I mean unknowing accomplice, "are you looking forward to this week-end's party?"

Grimace, but no comment.

"Prepared for the inevitable fight?"

"Hmm." Considering look.

I made a leap of intuition. "Or having lots of trouble with your algebra?"

"Nabiki, this is kinda hard, can you leave me alone?"

It was now time for a winning smile. "I can help you, Ranma. I won't even charge you. All you have to do is follow a few little instructions at this week-ends party."

He returned to scribbling with his pencil. "Not worth it."

"All you have to do is stay male, wear a costume I pick out, and not comment that you are the real Ranma Saotome," I went on.

"What?" It was beginning to occur to him that this was a really good bargain. Honestly, it was. This time I was actually acting for his own good, oddly enough.

"What you think I was going to auction you off or something? I've got two decoys for you . . . maybe a third if I can find any attractive red-heads to replace your other half. It's part of one of my obscure plots. You really don't have to worry about it." I yawned. "Oh, well, I can see you'd much rather work on your math homework than go train in some strange martial arts discipline." I turned to go and counted silently to three. One, two, thr-

"Nabiki?"

"Yes, Ranma?"

"I'll do it."

I continued my retreat. "Thank you, Ranma. The answers are in the back of the book." I heard him fall to the floor behind me. All too easy.

* * *

Most of my preparations were completed, aside from a few words with my sisters, regarding how to deal with the little pervert, and waiting for Mousse to return to me with message about Cologne's plans. I did not have long to wait. A brief letter addressed to me arrived in the mail, three days before the party was scheduled to begin. 

Nabiki Tendo,

Cologne has begun brewing another potion. After scanning over her books it would have become clear to me what it was, even if she hadn't loudly tutored my darling Shampoo in its use. It is a potion designed to cause something called "The Hundred Year Sleep." She plans to slip the potion to Akane and Ukyo to keep them out of the way. It does, however, have a considerable weakness, as the sleep ends when the sleeper is kissed by a member of the opposite sex to whom she feels attraction. Cologne has not mentioned this failing to Shampoo, and I feel certain you can discover a way to use this information to your benefit.

Mousse.

Oh, I could, I certainly could.

* * *


	4. Chapter Two: The Cinder Girl

Chapter Two: The Cinder Girl

* * *

(Note: this chapter from Shampoo's point of view is obviously not written in her normal speaking style. The reason is that, as has been mentioned by other writers, her Chinese is perfectly normal. I assume she thinks in Chinese, therefore all that she is thinking is being transcribed in good English. Also because it would be a real pain to write the whole chapter in Shampoo-onics. Her dialogue, however, is still in the usual bad grammatic form.)

* * *

I hummed to myself as I washed the dishes from our lunch-hour rush. Everything was so, so perfect! The Tendo's were throwing a party to determine who would marry Ranma . . . I knew, just knew, that I would win him! "Grandmother!" I called. "What we do at party to win Ranma heart?"

Grandmother was rummaging through one of our kitchen cabinets. "Well, child, I have thought that through, and I think that it will be necessary to take Akane out of action."

"How do that?"

Grandmother looked very pleased. "There is one of my potions I have not yet told you about. It is called The Hundred Year Sleep. Meanwhile, you will be able to win Ranma's heart without any distractions."

"That too, too good idea," I agreed. Then I stopped. "What we do about Spatula Girl?"

"I'm making enough of the potion for her as well," Grandmother said with a knowing smile. "I haven't bothered with making any for Kodachi. She is not a threat."

I smiled brilliantly. "Party be so much fun! But what Shampoo to wear . . . ?"

* * *

In the end, it was Grandmother who found me something to wear. And it was the most beautiful dress in the world! I knew the moment I saw it, that Ranma would finally fall in love with me, once he saw me in this dress. It was red silk and cut in the style of my home, but hundreds of red feathers were stitched to it so they dangled, turning the arms of the dress into wings. With it on my bed, Grandmother placed a mask studded with rubies. It was designed to look like the face of a hawk, but all red. Then she set down the final and most beautiful part of my costume. They were shoes, the same red as the dress, but translucent. They were made of glass!

"Oh, so pretty!" I said. "Just Shampoo size too!"

Great Grandmother chuckled. "Those are magical shoes, Shampoo. They were your mother's and before that her mother's, and before that mine, going back ten generations. Whoever first dances with you while you wear them will be destined to marry you, and the shoes will aim all their power to seeing you married. So make sure you dance with the right man."

"Yes, Great Grandmother." I ran my fingers along the silk of the dress and the glass of the shoes, secure in the knowledge that at last Ranma would be mine. The Violent Girl and the Spatula Girl couldn't compete with magical shoes, and even if they could, they were going to be fast asleep, while **I** wooed Ranma.

"Now, grand-daughter, I want you to put all your effort into ensnaring son-in-law. Dance with him first, then draw him off and talk to him. The shoes will work a glamour on him, so that he will see how beautiful you are. Extract from him a promise to marry you and come back to China with you."

I nodded. "But what about potion?"

She smiled. "I shall insure that it finds its way into the correct cups. You are not to get involved in that. If this fails, son-in-law will blame only me. You should direct all your energy to winning his heart."

I preferred that anyway. I could spend the whole evening with Ranma!

* * *

The days until the party went by so, so slowly, that I wondered if the day would ever come. Part of why they went so slowly was that nothing was happening. Grandmother had told me to leave Ranma alone, so that he would not expect me to cause any trouble at the party. I think the other girls were employing a similar strategy, because they left him alone too. Everything was quiet. Even Mousse left me alone. All there was to do was wait tables and plan for the party.

At last the day came and grandmother shooed Mousse out of the house, so that we could prepare for the party undisturbed. I bathed and combed out my hair, leaving it completely loose. I did not even tie up the usual two buns on either side of my face. There was no need for make-up, because the mask would cover my face, so I merely slipped into the dress and shoes, then secured the mask.

"How I look, Grandmother?" I inquired cheerfully.

"Hmmm." She studied me. "You will do, child, you will do. Do you not want to wear some perfume?"

I shook my head. "No. Ranma no like. He think Shampoo up to something if wear perfume."

She nodded agreement. "He would, wouldn't he? Well, now that you're ready, I'll put on my own mask." With those words, she slipped a mask over her own face. Like mine, it was the face of a bird, but an owl rather than a hawk.

"We go now?" I ask hopefully,

We went!

* * *

The familiar Tendo yard had been filled with lanterns, and Kasumi had managed to transform the house into something strange and magical. there was something different about the light, and there were strange sparkling things -- tinsel? -- decorating the rooms. Grandmother and I were fashionably on time, but other guests had clearly arrived before we had. 

In the costumes and masks, at first I could not recognize anyone. It was like being in a room full of strangers, but at last I caught sight of a familiar braid hanging down someone's back. Ranma! I pushed my way through the crowd. "Ai ren!"

The figure turned around to face me. He was dressed a silvery-white Chinese shirt and pants of finer material than usual, and his face was covered by a white-feather falcon's mask. We even matched. This was too, too good luck. Destiny must have played a part. "Sh- Shampoo?"

"Yes! Ranma dance with Shampoo!" I wrapped my arms around him to make sure he didn't get away. He always tries to, and if you let him, he's gone before you get the chance to kiss him. And where is the fun in that?

Fortunately, Ranma seemed to be in a more accommodating mood that usual, because he did not attempt to run. The shoes must have already been working their magic. "Alright, Shampoo. But . . . what about Akane?"

"Ha!" I seized his hands and pulled him towards the area where other couples were dancing. "You no worry about violent girl! You dance with Shampoo!"

Matching the movements of the other dancers I took one of his hands in mine and placed the other firmly on my hip. "Now we dance!"

"Um . . . okay."

So we danced for a long time! I could feel the magic in the slippers working. Tingles swept through my entire body at the touch of his hands. He drew me closer to him. I knew that the magic was working on him, too. We danced, and I waited for the magic to bind him to me so tightly that he would never, ever try to escape again.

Finally, when I was sure the magic was finished working, I said, "Ranma?"

"Shampoo," he murmured.

"You come back to China with Shampoo?"

He stopped dancing and looked down at me. I couldn't see his eyes clearly behind the mask, but it still felt like I was being stared at. "I will, Shampoo."

"Marry Shampoo?"

"I promise," he said. "Promise me too."

"Shampoo promise!"

Beneath the mask, I knew he was smiling. The slippers had worked! At last, Ranma was mine!

Ranma grabbed my shoulder. "Shampoo, let's go outside. I need to tell you something."

I thought he was looking at something over my shoulder. I tried to look, but he pulled me after him. All I saw was more people dancing. So, I let him take me outside to the porch of the Tendo's house. Here he sat down and sighed. "I've been lying to you."

A shudder of fear ran through me. Was something wrong with the shoes? I still felt immensely drawn to him, my body trembling with longing. But maybe their effect had worn off on Ranma. Great Grandmother had said that the shoes would bind our destinies and ensure that I would marry the first man I danced with, but maybe . . . they were old shoes. Were they getting worn out? Maybe the magic only worked while we were dancing. "Shampoo want dance more!" I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back towards the crowded room, but he didn't budge.

"No, Shampoo, you deserve to know the truth."

Behind the mask, I was close to tears. "Ranma . . . Ranma not want marry Shampoo?"

"No . . . well, yes. Ranma not want marry Shampoo." He took off the mask. "He loves Akane, Shampoo. Not you. But I do, and I love you, and I will marry you, and please marry me instead."

It was Mousse. Of course, of course, it had been Mousse. Ranma would never have danced with me like that, would never have made the promise so readily. I pulled my mask off and through it at him. The mask had been weighted and some of the inside edges were sharpened. Even with our plans, I would never have dreamed of going to the Tendo's home unarmed. And I ran off into the night. I had promised Mousse that I would marry him, and the slippers would be working all their magic to make sure that I did. How had everything gone so wrong?

* * *


	5. Chapter Three: The Dashing Prince

Chapter Three: The Dashing Prince

* * *

Yes, I know some of this sounds like I stole it from Shrek II. But you know what: I started work on this story long before I saw Shrek II and it was always part of the plot. Hence, I feel no guilt whatsoever. You can't have fairy tales without this type of cure, and you all know it.

* * *

I wondered bleakly as I trudged down the streets of Hong Kong whether Ranma and Akane were married yet. It was too late to do anything about it, of course. I had lost my last chance. The party where I could have told Akane that I loved her had been a week ago, and I had missed it, wandering the French countryside. I had no doubts that she was the one Ranma had chosen. I glanced at the present I held in my hands and wondered if I would even arrive to give it to her. Of course, it was as much for her husband as for her, and as much for myself as her husband. In fact, it was a present for nearly everyone we knew.

Eventually, I knew I would reach Nerima again. Of course, by that time they might be gone on their honeymoon. Not that it mattered. I'd catch up with them some day. I always did.

I shook the box, and wondered at the miracle that had led me to it. "True Love Cure" the witch-woman had called it, capable of breaking any curse, reversing any enchantment, but only if the drinker kissed the one he (or she) loved before midnight. Supposedly, it was leftover from the last time it was brewed some time in the 12th century when some girl wouldn't stop floating away. It was priceless, and if it made Akane happy I would share it with the man she loved, even if he was my oldest enemy.

The words on the sign shocked me, as they always do. You would think that by now I would be used to it, but I'm not. You see, I wasn't in Hong Kong after all. The sign read: Nerima High School. I was there. So very close. And there was no doubt that I would get lost before I could find the Tendo household.

A part of me hoped that the potion would cure not only the curse of Jusenkyo but also the curse that has been with me since birth, my inability to find my way.

Fate intervened, and a painful screech came from behind me. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! What beautifully wrapped present! How kind of you to prepare it for me! I shall give it my dear Ranma!" And a black ribbon snatched the precious package from my arms.

Of all Ranma's fiancées (or girlfriends or whatever), I think we all hate Kodachi the most. Her craziness is rivaled only by her annoyingness. "Give that back!" I called out in panic. "I need that! Come back here!" And I ran after her in pursuit.

It occurred to me that this might be a blessing in disguise. She was almost certainly headed towards the Tendo Dojo, the place I desperately needed to reach. So long as I could keep her in sight, I might be able to carry out my mission. And maybe I would be able to tell Akane the truth, now that it was too late.

I know that I'm not the smartest person in the world. Ranma has pulled the wool over my eyes far too many times for me to have any delusions about that. But I'm not completely stupid, like Kunou, and so after I had been running after her for some time, I noticed something. Kodachi was dressed in a long black hooded cloak (I had recognized her by her voice). It was the sort of thing no one (even Kodachi) wears normally.

In fact, I could think of only one reason for her to be wearing it: a costume party. Which meant I had somehow been confused about the date. I was certain Nabiki had said "tonight," but I must have somehow misheard her. Maybe the weather had been bad and they'd postponed it! Maybe I still had a chance to gain Akane's affection! It might not be too late after all!

Which meant that it was all the more important that I regain the cure! I ran faster. I had to catch Kodachi!

* * *

Just when the Tendo Dojo drew into sight, I stumbled over someone's outstretched foot.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it," Nabiki Tendo said. "I even gave you the wrong date to make sure you'd be here in time."

Of course. Everyone always likes having a laugh about my bad sense of direction. And Nabiki was a girl so I couldn't punch her for it, like I would if it was Ranma. At least, she wasn't making comments on my being a pig. But she probably didn't know that any more than Akane did. "I don't have time, Nabiki! I have to-" Only, Kodachi was out of sight. Once again, our best chance of a cure was lost.

"You have to come with me and get dressed," she said impatiently. "You almost ruined my plan. Come on." And she grabbed my wrist to pull me toward the back door to the Tendos' house.

"But-"

"No time!" she snapped.

And the next thing I knew I was locked in the downstairs bathroom with nothing but my costume and mask. For the first time, I looked at the costume Nabiki had picked out for me. It was a knee-length tunic of bright green with a ragged hem. I stared at it in shock. The mask was a simple painted oval designed to look like the face of an elfish young boy. "Peter Pan?" I whined through the door.

"Well, you want to match Akane, don't you?"

Right. Akane. That was all that mattered. If she saw me in a costume that matched hers, she would be that much more likely to listen when I told her I loved her. Shoving all my beliefs in masculinity down to the bottom-most corner of my soul, I donned the tunic and mask. I tapped at the door. "Let me out, Nabiki. I'm dressed."

She opened the door and scanned me with a critical eye. It was only now that I noticed her costume. She was dressed in a long white gown of silk, split to the knee with a crown of white roses on her head.

"Huh?" I was a little confused. "I thought Ranma was the one getting married."

Nabiki ignored this comment and clipped something at the base of my skull. Turning to look, I found that I now possessed a pigtail not unlike Ranma's. "Well, it's not perfect, but it should fool most people. Just try to avoid cold water. I expect that would kill the masquerade pretty quickly."

Behind my mask I blushed. She didn't know how true that was!

"Well, the party's in there. Go get 'em, tiger!" She laughed as she said it, and I wondered what all she was planning. Even I know not to take Nabiki's plots at face value. But to gain Akane's love it was worth it.

I went through the door, looking not only for Akane dressed as a fairy, but also for Kodachi in a long black cloak. I had to confess my love to Akane and regain the cure so that I could marry her and never become a pig again.

Almost immediately upon entering, I was approached by a fairy. "Ranchan! I've been looking for you ever since I got here!" The fairy was clearly not Akane. Nabiki had tricked me again.

"Um-" I tried to tell her that I wasn't Ranma, but she had already grabbed my hands and pulled me into the middle of the dancing horde. I looked around, hoping to spot the real Akane or Kodachi. This was nearly impossible. I was surrounded by a sea of masks. It was like being part of some surreal dream, half-in half-out of reality.

The fairy had put her head on my shoulder. "Ukyo?" I guessed. She was the one who called him Ranchan, right?

"Mmm-hmm." She sounded happy.

It felt kind of nice. I wondered what it would be like if Akane rested her head on my shoulder like that. "This isn't what you think."

"What?"

"Nabiki's up to something," I began.

"I know," she said happily. "She told me what your costume would be so I could dress to match it. I wanted so much to match you."

I was shocked. So Ukyo knew all about it and wanted to dance with me rather than Ranma? Had she been in love with me all this time that I had been desperately chasing Akane? "Oh."

"You don't mind, do you?"

I really wasn't sure. But I couldn't tell her that I didn't love her. I couldn't make her unhappy like that. I'm not a mean guy, like Ranma. I don't go around making girls cry. "I guess not."

She seemed relieved by this statement. "Good. I was afraid you'd think it was deceptive of me. But I didn't pretend anything. I just wanted Nabiki to make sure that . . . I just wanted a turn to dance with you. I was so afraid that it was Akane you loved, rather than me."

The problem was that I **did** have feelings for Akane. But Ranma liked her, and according to Nabiki she liked Ranma. And if Ukyo liked me then it would make so much sense for us to end up together. "Well, you're pretty nice, too," I offered.

We resumed dancing, and I let myself enjoy it. After all, why shouldn't I? Was there any hope in trying to resist a plot set up by both Ukyo and Nabiki? I might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride. I had been late to the party, apparently, and Ranma had probably already chosen Akane.

As we moved in time to the music, I came to like the feel of her in my arms. I even forgot for a while that she wasn't the girl I had hoped to be dancing with. Maybe this was for the best. I began to dream of a possible future with Ukyo rather than Akane who was lost to me once again.

The next dance was faster and by the time it was over, we were out of breath and I had mostly convinced myself that this was what I had wanted all along. "Let's get some fresh air," she said softly.

So we walked out to the Tendos' garden. The garden was far less crowded than it was inside. Our only company was Ranma staring off in the opposite direction.

Ukyo looked at him in confusion, then at me. "Ranchan?"

My universe broke again. So all this time she had still thought that I was Ranma after all. She still loved Ranma. Akane still loved Ranma. No one loved me.

Ranma turned to face us, and both Ukyo and I saw immediately that it was not Ranma. "No," Mousse said tiredly. "No, it's me."

Ukyo was confused. "Why are you dressed like Ranma?"

"It was Nabiki's idea," he explained. "She thought that if I dressed as Ranma, I could actually get Shampoo to listen to me. And then maybe, she'd realize when I took the mask off that I was the one she really loved. Only now she's run off."

Ukyo appeared to consider this. "I'm sorry, Mousse. It really was a good idea. And if Shampoo had any sense at all, I'm sure she'd choose you. You're perfect together. And Ranma will never love her. Isn't that right?" she addressed this last part to me.

I nodded.

Mousse sighed. "Well, it's too late now."

"You should go after her!" Ukyo announced. "You must never stop pursuing the one you love! Follow my example. Look how I have chased after Ranma, in spite of all obstacles!"

My depression deepened. She was as obsessed with Ranma as ever. Maybe I'd have a better chance with Akane, after all.

"Of course, you're right," Mousse said. "Thank you, Miss Ukyo. I must go and find Shampoo."

And he left us alone with each other. I wished I had the courage to tell him the lesson I had just learned, as I learned it over and over again in my dealings with Akane. I learned it so often and yet I never had the courage to act on it.

Ukyo turned to face me again, putting her hands on my shoulders and pulling me closer. "Kiss me," she said softly.

There was no time to protest, as she tipped both out masks upward and pressed her lips against mine. Again I melted, pretending for a time that the girl I kissing wanted to kiss me rather than Ranma. I pressed her body against mine, enjoying the sensation of her softness and the smell of her.

And abruptly I pushed her away. "Ukyo, you're making a horrible mistake!"

She stared at me a moment and broke into tears. "I knew it wasn't for real, you know," she said. "I knew you couldn't really love me, Ranchan. But I wanted to try one last time. Please. Akane doesn't want you, but I do! Can't you at least try to love me?"

She still didn't understand. I tried once more to tell her the truth, but she wasn't finished.

"I've tried for so long to make you understand. But you know how I feel. I've gone through everything for you, and yet you still wait for her to realize that she doesn't hate you. It isn't going to change." She was in tears behind her mask now. I wondered if what she said about Akane was true. If it were, then maybe my hope wasn't lost. Maybe, if I could gain the courage here, we could move on and work together once again to regain the true objects of our affection!

I removed the mask.

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Wow, that chapter wrote fast. The story's starting to pick up some speed. I may be able to finish it through sheer inertia. Or not. I'm trying to keep people in character, but it sure is hard. I wonder if everyone already knows where all of this is going. One way to find out. All of you must review and tell me what you think!

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